Week 2

ThursdayDET 31 @ BUF 41

Sunday nightIND 30 @ KC 33

Monday nightNYG 6 @ LAR 28

The Mega Bowl Dispatch Flint, Michigan · Year Fourteen · Tuesday morning, after Monday night

Up 35, Then Out of Players

Jeantyfication (Jeff Darcy) led LaPorta Potty Love (Sal Cicero) by 35.3 after the 1:00 games and had nobody left after 4:25. Sal needed 6.45 from Rashee Rice on Sunday night. Rice scored 10.3. Jeff, TreVeyon Henderson (13.6) and Jonah Coleman (13.3) sat on your bench while Kenny Gainwell started for 3.0. Either one wins the game. You are 0-2.

Filed from the group chat

Week 2 sorted the room. Four teams are 2-0, four are 0-2, and the four in the middle would like you to know they split. Six games, none closer than 3.86, and the losers did most of the damage to themselves: four of the six teams that lost had a winning lineup on the roster and did not start it. Devin, Josh, Jeff, Steve. Names are in the receipts.

Remember The Tateans (Luke Uliana) posted the high score for the second straight week, 132.48, and this time the lineup was only 3.2 off perfect after being 18.3 off in Week 1. Buffalo!!!! (Daniel Martisofski) got 40.82 from Josh Allen on Thursday night, the high starter of the week, so Dan's payout was locked before anyone else had kicked off. X Gon' Gibbs It To Ya (Steven Cortright) went from the third-highest score in the league to the lowest, 123.60 to 80.26, in seven days. Gruden's Grinders (Brent Balga) scored 97.92 and Brent's three best players were a defense, a tight end and a kicker.

PayoutsThis week's money

High teamRemember The Tateans Luke Uliana · 132.48 points

High playerJosh Allen QB · BUF · 40.82 · started by Daniel Martisofski (Buffalo!!!!)

Two payouts every week: highest team score and highest single starter. Bench points do not count.

Money raceThru Week 2

Luke Uliana leads with 2 payouts. Every weekly payout won this season, ties split.

#	Manager	Payouts	High team	High player
1	Luke Uliana Remember The Tateans	2	2	0
2	Daniel Martisofski Buffalo!!!!	1	0	1
2	Joshua Smith Ja'Marr Ja'Marr Binks	1	0	1

Still waiting on a payout: Ben Dudash, Brent Balga, Davis Martisofski, Devin Golden, Jeff Darcy, Lovell Bivins, Sal Cicero, Sean Bilger, Steven Cortright.

Every week's winners

ScoreboardAll six

Sorted closest to widest. Winner on top; the running score shows who led after each window of games.

LaPorta Potty Love Sal Cicero 98.44

Jeantyfication Jeff Darcy 94.58

Thu	Sun early	Sun late	SNF	MNF
14.2	37.8	88.1	98.4	98.4
0.0	73.1	94.6	94.6	94.6

Margin 3.86 · Left on bench 34.8 / 37.5

Hill Street Blues Davis Martisofski 89.28

X Gon' Gibbs It To Ya Steven Cortright 80.26

Thu	Sun early	Sun late	SNF	MNF
0.0	24.5	83.5	83.5	89.3
27.4	57.8	80.3	80.3	80.3

Margin 9.02 · Left on bench 47.32 / 27.0

Taking out the Trash Panda Lovell Bivins 116.66

Iavana Humpalot Devin Golden 100.86

Thu	Sun early	Sun late	SNF	MNF
0.0	36.5	74.8	102.0	116.7
4.3	44.5	79.3	100.9	100.9

Margin 15.80 · Left on bench 46.18 / 63.58

Buffalo!!!! Daniel Martisofski 118.82

Gruden's Grinders Brent Balga 97.92

Thu	Sun early	Sun late	SNF	MNF
61.1	73.2	106.9	106.9	118.8
0.0	65.8	97.3	97.3	97.9

Margin 20.90 · Left on bench 23.0 / 24.5

Brotherly Shove Sean Bilger 120.00

Ja'Marr Ja'Marr Binks Joshua Smith 97.42

Thu	Sun early	Sun late	SNF	MNF
0.0	58.2	96.2	117.0	120.0
0.0	56.6	89.9	89.9	97.4

Margin 22.58 · Left on bench 32.2 / 49.3

Remember The Tateans Luke Uliana 132.48

The McBride Ben Dudash 106.70

Thu	Sun early	Sun late	SNF	MNF
30.7	93.1	94.1	105.5	132.5
5.3	27.4	70.4	70.4	106.7

Margin 25.78 · Left on bench 25.1 / 27.5

The swingsThree that turned

The lead that ran out of players

Final LaPorta Potty Love Sal Cicero 98.44

vsby 3.86

Final Jeantyfication Jeff Darcy 94.58

Sam LaPorta gave LaPorta Potty Love (Sal Cicero) 14.2 on Thursday. Then the 1:00 games happened to Sal: Tetairoa McMillan 12.6, Bucky Irving 11.0, and that was it, 37.8 total. Jeantyfication (Jeff Darcy) had seven starters in the early window and they scored 73.1, DeVonta Smith 22.7, Joe Burrow 16.18, Chuba Hubbard 13.4. Jeff led by 35.3 at 4 o'clock.

The late window was Sal's whole team: Jayden Daniels 14.74, the Seahawks defense 10.0, Jason Myers 7.3, Mike Evans 6.9, Jeremiyah Love 6.0, Rashid Shaheed 5.4. That is 50.34 from six players, and it cut the gap to 6.44 with Jeff's lineup finished, Omarion Hampton (16.5) and two Chargers pieces being his last three. Sal had one player left: Rashee Rice, Chiefs, Sunday night. Rice caught 10.3. Final margin 3.86.

Jeff, this is the second Tuesday in a row you get the paragraph. Kenny Gainwell started at running back and scored 3.0. TreVeyon Henderson scored 13.6 on your bench. Jonah Coleman scored 13.3 on your bench. Either one of them, in Gainwell's slot, wins the game by more than 10. Kyle Pitts Sr. started again (2.0) with T.J. Hockenson (4.4) sitting again. Last week no lineup on your roster could beat Devin. This week the winning lineup was right there and you left it on the bench.

The other lead that ran out of players

Final Hill Street Blues Davis Martisofski 89.28

vsby 9.02

Final X Gon' Gibbs It To Ya Steven Cortright 80.26

X Gon' Gibbs It To Ya (Steven Cortright) led 27.4 to 0.0 after Thursday (Jahmyr Gibbs 20.3, Jake Bates 7.1) and 57.8 to 24.5 after the early games, Rashod Bateman 18.3 doing the work. A 33.3-point lead. Hill Street Blues (Davis Martisofski) had five players in the late window and Steve had four.

CeeDee Lamb scored 31.3 on the 4:25 slate and the rest of Davis's late group, De'Von Achane 10.8, Justin Herbert 7.88, Ladd McConkey 5.0, Courtland Sutton 4.0, added 27.7 more. Steve's four late starters, George Pickens 7.0, Trevor Lawrence 6.16, Brian Thomas Jr. 5.5, Michael Mayer 3.8, made 22.5. Davis led 83.5 to 80.3 when the late games ended and Steve had no one left. Isaiah Likely added 5.8 on Monday night for the final.

Steve scored 123.60 last week, third-highest in the league, and lost. He scored 80.26 this week, lowest in the league, and lost. Romeo Doubs (11.1) and Blake Corum (9.7) sat on the bench behind Luther Burden III (4.7) and David Montgomery (3.4). Both swaps together win the game by 3.68; either one alone still loses. Davis won with the second-lowest score of the week, benched Bo Nix (14.12) for Justin Herbert (7.88), and benched Harold Fannin Jr. (7.9) for Isaiah Likely (5.8), one week after benching Likely for Fannin and losing. Davis is 1-1 and 0-2 on the tight end decision.

Sunday night, 1.14 apart

Final Taking out the Trash Panda Lovell Bivins 116.66

vsby 15.80

Final Iavana Humpalot Devin Golden 100.86

Iavana Humpalot (Devin Golden) led at every checkpoint through the 4:25 games, 79.3 to 74.8, on Dak Prescott's 29.76 and Derrick Henry's 16.2. Both teams had Sunday night pieces: Devin had Travis Kelce and the Chiefs defense, Lovell had Jonathan Taylor. Taylor scored 27.2. Kelce scored 20.6 and the Chiefs defense scored 1.0. Taking out the Trash Panda (Lovell Bivins) led 102.0 to 100.86 when Sunday night ended, Devin's week was over, and Kyren Williams still had a Monday night game. He scored 14.7.

Devin lost by 15.80 with 23.9 points of lineup on the bench. Marvin Harrison Jr. started and scored 0.0, not injured, just nothing, while Malik Washington sat with 6.7. Saquon Barkley started for 2.5 with Tyjae Spears at 8.0 on the bench. Quinshon Judkins held the flex with 7.3 while Dalton Kincaid scored 19.0 sitting down. A perfect lineup from Devin's roster scores 124.76 and beats Lovell. The one bench call Devin got right: Dak (29.76) over Patrick Mahomes (28.98). Cold comfort. It was the first week he made it.

Lovell is not clean either. Brock Purdy scored 28.48 on his bench while Jalen Hurts started for 16.16. Calvin Ridley started at wide receiver, a player 0.3 percent of ESPN managers started this week, the lowest start rate of any starter in this league, and scored 4.5. J.K. Dobbins held the flex again for 3.6. Dallas Goedert 0.9 with Mark Andrews (7.9) sitting. Lovell left 19.3 on the table and won by 15.8, which is the fantasy football equivalent of parking on the sidewalk and not getting a ticket.

The restThree that didn't

Final Buffalo!!!! Daniel Martisofski 118.82

vsby 20.90

Final Gruden's Grinders Brent Balga 97.92

Josh Allen 40.82 and James Cook III 20.4 on Thursday night gave Buffalo!!!! (Daniel Martisofski) 61.1 before anybody else in the league had a player on the field, and Allen's number held up as the high starter of the week, so Dan's payout was decided on Thursday. The rest of Dan's roster was ordinary: DJ Moore -0.1, a goose egg from a questionable tag, and Devin Singletary 0.9 in a running back slot that 1.9 percent of ESPN filled the same way. Gruden's Grinders (Brent Balga) got 20.0 from the Patriots defense, 18.3 from Jake Ferguson and 17.6 from Chase McLaughlin, which means Brent's three best players were a defense, a tight end and a kicker. Bijan Robinson 9.6, Malik Nabers 0.6 on Monday night, Makai Lemon 1.4 for the second straight start. A perfect lineup from Brent's roster scores 105.62 and still loses by 13. Brent is 0-2 and the roster is the problem.

Final Brotherly Shove Sean Bilger 120.00

vsby 22.58

Final Ja'Marr Ja'Marr Binks Joshua Smith 97.42

Jaxon Smith-Njigba scored 38.0 in the late window and Kenneth Walker III scored 20.8 on Sunday night, the second straight week Walker closed the night for Brotherly Shove (Sean Bilger). Sean led by 1.6 after the early games and by 6.3 after the late ones, then Walker made it 27 before Josh's Monday night pieces trimmed it. Ja'Marr Ja'Marr Binks (Joshua Smith) got 23.0 from Ja'Marr Chase, so at least the name worked this week, and 7.72 from Caleb Williams, who scored 37.26 seven days ago. The number that matters: Stefon Diggs scored 19.2 and Denzel Boston scored 18.0 on Josh's bench, the same two players who sat with 13.5 and 12.9 last week. A perfect lineup from Josh's roster scores 121.02. Sean scored 120.00. Josh had a winning lineup and started a different one, by 1.02.

Final Remember The Tateans Luke Uliana 132.48

vsby 25.78

Final The McBride Ben Dudash 106.70

Remember The Tateans (Luke Uliana) led from Thursday night, Amon-Ra St. Brown 30.7, and never trailed. Chris Olave 18.6 in the early window, Tyler Warren 11.4 on Sunday night, and Matthew Stafford 26.98 on Monday, one week after Stafford scored 4.1 and Luke won the money anyway. High score of the week for the second straight week, and this time the lineup was only 3.2 off perfect. The McBride (Ben Dudash) got 35.5 from Davante Adams on Monday night, the third-best starter in the league, plus Christian McCaffrey 20.6 and Trey McBride 14.1, and it did not matter: Jaxson Dart scored 0.8 at quarterback in a game the Giants lost 28 to 6, a week after scoring 26.6. Ben has no other quarterback. Ben is 0-2 and a perfect lineup from his roster still loses by 19.

ReceiptsLineup crimes

Every roster, every bench, every lineup card, checked against what a perfect lineup would have scored. Start rates are ESPN league-wide for Week 2.

Devin Golden Iavana Humpalot

Lost by 15.80. A perfect lineup from this roster scores 124.76, which is 23.9 left on the bench, the biggest gap in the league, and it beats Lovell. Dalton Kincaid (19.0) sat behind Quinshon Judkins (7.3) in the flex. Tyjae Spears (8.0) sat behind Saquon Barkley (2.5). Malik Washington (6.7) sat behind Marvin Harrison Jr., whom 14.8 percent of ESPN started, and who scored 0.0. The Chiefs defense scored 1.0. The good news is Dak Prescott (29.76) over Patrick Mahomes (28.98), the first bench call Devin has won this season.

Joshua Smith Ja'Marr Ja'Marr Binks

Lost by 22.58 and had a winning lineup on the roster. Stefon Diggs (19.2) and Denzel Boston (18.0) sat behind Jalen Coker (10.6) and Javonte Williams (6.5), the same two bench guys who sat with 13.5 and 12.9 in Week 1. Braelon Allen (8.0) sat behind Jadarian Price (4.5). A perfect lineup scores 121.02 and Sean scored 120.00. Josh had the win by 1.02 and started someone else. Caleb Williams went from 37.26 to 7.72, which is not a lineup crime, just a Bears crime.

Sal Cicero LaPorta Potty Love

Won by 3.86 with 22.5 points of lineup on the bench. Tre Tucker (20.4) sat behind Rashid Shaheed (5.4), whom 2.9 percent of ESPN started. Terrance Ferguson (14.4) sat behind Mike Evans (6.9). Sal needed 6.45 from Rashee Rice on Sunday night to get past Jeff and got 10.3. Puka Nacua stayed on the bench with 0.0 and that one was correct. Last week Sal's lineup was the tightest in the league, 3.9 off perfect. This week it was the third-loosest, and he won anyway. Sal is 2-0 and has learned nothing.

Lovell Bivins Taking out the Trash Panda

Won by 15.80 and left 19.3 on the bench. Brock Purdy (28.48) sat behind Jalen Hurts (16.16). Mark Andrews (7.9) sat behind Dallas Goedert (0.9). Calvin Ridley started at wide receiver for 4.5, a player 0.3 percent of ESPN started, the lowest start rate of any starter in this league this week. J.K. Dobbins held the flex for the second straight week and scored 3.6 for the second straight week. Travis Hunter, benched after last week's 1.6, scored 0.0, so Lovell got one right. Two weeks, two Dobbins starts, 7.2 points.

Davis Martisofski Hill Street Blues

Won by 9.02 with the second-lowest score in the league, 89.28. Bo Nix (14.12) sat behind Justin Herbert (7.88). Rachaad White (11.3) sat behind Rhamondre Stevenson (3.1). Harold Fannin Jr. (7.9), started by 63.1 percent of ESPN, sat behind Isaiah Likely (5.8), one week after Likely (23.8) sat behind Fannin (3.1). Davis has now made the tight end call twice and gotten it wrong twice, in opposite directions. A perfect lineup scores 106.52. He left 17.24 on the bench and won because he had CeeDee Lamb at 4:25 and Steve had nothing after 4:25.

Daniel Martisofski Buffalo!!!!

Won by 20.90 and owns the high starter of the week, Josh Allen 40.82. Also started DJ Moore, tagged questionable, for -0.1, and Devin Singletary at running back for 0.9, a player 1.9 percent of ESPN started. Devaughn Vele (8.9) and Hunter Henry (5.5) sat. Emmett Johnson (4.5) would have beaten Singletary too. Dan left 13.1 on the bench and did not need any of it, which is the Chris Rodriguez Jr. story from last week with a different name in the slot.

Jeff Darcy Jeantyfication

Lost by 3.86. Kenny Gainwell (3.0) started at running back, a 9.6 percent start, with TreVeyon Henderson (13.6) and Jonah Coleman (13.3) on the bench. Either one wins the game by more than 10. Kyle Pitts Sr. (2.0) started at tight end with T.J. Hockenson (4.4) on the bench for the second straight week. Cameron Dicker kicked for 1.0. A perfect lineup scores 107.58. Last week no lineup on this roster could beat Devin; this week the winning one was on the bench. Jeff is 0-2 and the second loss was optional.

Steven Cortright X Gon' Gibbs It To Ya

Lost by 9.02 with the low score of the week, 80.26, seven days after scoring 123.60. Romeo Doubs (11.1) sat behind Luther Burden III (4.7). Blake Corum (9.7) sat behind David Montgomery (3.4). Both swaps together score 92.96 and beat Davis by 3.68; either one alone still loses. Brian Thomas Jr. started again at 6.1 percent and scored 5.5 again. Michael Mayer started at tight end for 3.8 with Brock Bowers on the bench at 0.0 for the second straight week. Steve is 0-2. Last week 123.60 was not enough; this week 80.26 was not close.

Brent Balga Gruden's Grinders

Lost by 20.90. Makai Lemon started again, 2.8 percent of ESPN started him, and scored 1.4, so two starts have produced 2.4 points. Jordan Addison started at 8.8 percent for 3.1. Malik Nabers scored 0.6 on Monday night. Brian Robinson Jr. (7.7) and Kalif Raymond (6.5) sat. The three best scorers on the team were the Patriots defense (20.0), Jake Ferguson (18.3) and Chase McLaughlin (17.6). A perfect lineup scores 105.62 and loses to Dan by 13. Brent is 0-2 and the lineup card is not where the problem is.

Ben Dudash The McBride

Lost by 25.78 with only 6.9 left sitting. Dontayvion Wicks (9.9) sat behind DK Metcalf (4.7) for the second straight week. Tony Pollard (7.0) sat behind Khalil Shakir (5.3) in the flex. The real number is Jaxson Dart, 0.8 at quarterback, no backup on the roster, one week after 26.6. A perfect lineup scores 113.60 and still loses to Luke by 19. Davante Adams (35.5) was the best thing that happened to Ben this week, and it happened on Monday night with the game already over.

Sean Bilger Brotherly Shove

Won by 22.58. The winner gets a receipt too. Colston Loveland scored 0.8 at tight end, after 0.0 last week, and there is still no other tight end on the roster. Harrison Mevis kicked for 3.0. Chris Godwin Jr. started at 13.7 percent for 7.3 and MarShawn Lloyd held the flex at 15.1 percent for 7.6 while Tank Bigsby (10.8) and Josh Downs (10.7) sat. Sean left 6.6 on the bench and won on Jaxon Smith-Njigba (38.0) and Kenneth Walker III (20.8), the same running back who won Week 1. Two weeks, two wins, one running back doing most of the talking.

Luke Uliana Remember The Tateans

High score of the week for the second straight week, and this time the lineup was only 3.2 off perfect: Xavier Worthy (11.0) sat behind Matthew Golden (7.8). Everything else was right, including Matthew Stafford (26.98) at quarterback one week after 4.1. Two payouts in two weeks. Nothing to roast here, which in this league is its own kind of insult, and Sal has already heard it.

PointsMost to least

#	Team	Manager	Pts	Bench	Result
1	Remember The Tateans	Luke Uliana	132.48	25.1	W
2	Brotherly Shove	Sean Bilger	120.00	32.2	W
3	Buffalo!!!!	Daniel Martisofski	118.82	23.0	W
4	Taking out the Trash Panda	Lovell Bivins	116.66	46.18	W
5	The McBride	Ben Dudash	106.70	27.5	L
6	Iavana Humpalot	Devin Golden	100.86	63.58	L
7	LaPorta Potty Love	Sal Cicero	98.44	34.8	W
8	Gruden's Grinders	Brent Balga	97.92	24.5	L
9	Ja'Marr Ja'Marr Binks	Joshua Smith	97.42	49.3	L
10	Jeantyfication	Jeff Darcy	94.58	37.5	L
11	Hill Street Blues	Davis Martisofski	89.28	47.32	W
12	X Gon' Gibbs It To Ya	Steven Cortright	80.26	27.0	L

Honor rollTop starters

40.82Josh Allen QB · BUFBuffalo!!!! · Daniel Martisofski
38.0Jaxon Smith-Njigba WR · SEABrotherly Shove · Sean Bilger
35.5Davante Adams WR · LARThe McBride · Ben Dudash
31.3CeeDee Lamb WR · DALHill Street Blues · Davis Martisofski
30.7Amon-Ra St. Brown WR · DETRemember The Tateans · Luke Uliana
29.76Dak Prescott QB · DALIavana Humpalot · Devin Golden
27.2Jonathan Taylor RB · INDTaking out the Trash Panda · Lovell Bivins
26.98Matthew Stafford QB · LARRemember The Tateans · Luke Uliana
23.0Ja'Marr Chase WR · CINJa'Marr Ja'Marr Binks · Joshua Smith
22.7DeVonta Smith WR · PHIJeantyfication · Jeff Darcy

Goose eggsWorst starters

Only two starters finished at zero or worse this week, and both took the field: Marvin Harrison Jr. (0.0) for Devin Golden (Iavana Humpalot) and DJ Moore (-0.1) for Daniel Martisofski (Buffalo!!!!). The near-misses were worse company: Malik Nabers 0.6, Jaxson Dart 0.8, Colston Loveland 0.8, Dallas Goedert 0.9, Devin Singletary 0.9.

-0.1DJ Moore WR · BUFBuffalo!!!! · Daniel Martisofski
0.0Marvin Harrison Jr. WR · ARIIavana Humpalot · Devin Golden
0.6Malik Nabers WR · NYGGruden's Grinders · Brent Balga
0.8Colston Loveland TE · CHIBrotherly Shove · Sean Bilger
0.8Jaxson Dart QB · NYGThe McBride · Ben Dudash
0.9Devin Singletary RB · NYGBuffalo!!!! · Daniel Martisofski
0.9Dallas Goedert TE · PHITaking out the Trash Panda · Lovell Bivins
1.0Chiefs D/ST D/ST · KCIavana Humpalot · Devin Golden

Bench of shameSat and scored

Points scored by players who were sitting down. Devin Golden (Iavana Humpalot) left 63.58 on the bench, the week's high, though the biggest number there, Patrick Mahomes 28.98, sat behind Dak Prescott's 29.76, so it cost nothing. Brock Purdy's 28.48 for Lovell Bivins (Taking out the Trash Panda) is the one that stings: Jalen Hurts started for 16.16.

28.98Patrick Mahomes QB · KCIavana Humpalot · Devin Golden
28.48Brock Purdy QB · SFTaking out the Trash Panda · Lovell Bivins
20.4Tre Tucker WR · LVLaPorta Potty Love · Sal Cicero
19.2Stefon Diggs WR · WSHJa'Marr Ja'Marr Binks · Joshua Smith
19.0Dalton Kincaid TE · BUFIavana Humpalot · Devin Golden
18.0Denzel Boston WR · CLEJa'Marr Ja'Marr Binks · Joshua Smith
14.4Terrance Ferguson TE · LARLaPorta Potty Love · Sal Cicero
14.12Bo Nix QB · DENHill Street Blues · Davis Martisofski

Next week

Four teams are 2-0: Buffalo!!!! (Daniel Martisofski), Brotherly Shove (Sean Bilger), Remember The Tateans (Luke Uliana) and LaPorta Potty Love (Sal Cicero). Four are 0-2, and two of them had the win sitting on the bench. Week 3 kicks off Thursday, Falcons at Packers.

Source: ESPN league 924009, Week 2 box scores pulled 2026-09-22 after MNF final. Windows: Thu/Fri standalone games, Sunday early (1:00), Sunday late (4:05/4:25), SNF, MNF.