Vol. 14 · No. 6Flint, MichiganFree to the league

The Mega Bowl Dispatch

Week 6 edition · Flint, Michigan · Year Fourteen · Tuesday morning, after Monday night

Week 6 Davis survived by 6.80 · Luke won by 54.30 · Brent led the league with 145.20 After Monday night

This week

Hill Street Blues def. LaPorta Potty Love Davis over Sal by 6.80, after trailing by 27.00 104.34 — 97.54 | margin 6.80

Jeantyfication def. X Gon' Gibbs It To Ya Jeff over Steven by 9.48 111.72 — 102.24 | margin 9.48

Ja'Marr Ja'Marr Binks def. Buffalo!!!! Joshua over Daniel by 14.00 108.50 — 94.50 | margin 14.00

Gruden's Grinders def. Brotherly Shove Brent over Sean by 33.62, after trailing by 19.40 145.20 — 111.58 | margin 33.62

The McBride def. Taking out the Trash Panda Ben over Lovell by 33.80, after trailing by 25.80 128.36 — 94.56 | margin 33.80

Remember The Tateans def. Iavana Humpalot Luke over Devin by 54.30 115.98 — 61.68 | margin 54.30

Trevor Lawrence, 27.34, the week's high starter, for X Gon' Gibbs It To Ya (Steven Cortright).

Filed from the box scores

Week 6 had a game decided by 6.80 and a game decided by 54.30. Nobody is unbeaten. Nobody is winless. The league averaged 106.35 a team.

Payouts: Gruden's Grinders (Brent Balga) for the high team at 145.20, and Steven for Trevor Lawrence at 27.34. The money race and every lineup crime are below; the editorial copy lands later today.

Standings

#	Team	W-L	Pts	Strk
1	Remember The TateansLuke Uliana	5-1	783.4	▲ 2
2	Buffalo!!!!Daniel Martisofski	5-1	737.2	▼ 1
3	LaPorta Potty LoveSal Cicero	4-2	704.9	▼ 1
4	Hill Street BluesDavis Martisofski	4-2	672.2	▲ 1
5	Gruden's GrindersBrent Balga	3-3	704.6	▲ 2
6	X Gon' Gibbs It To YaSteven Cortright	3-3	694.9	▼ 1
7	Brotherly ShoveSean Bilger	3-3	692.9	▼ 2
8	Taking out the Trash PandaLovell Bivins	3-3	633.2	▼ 2
9	Ja'Marr Ja'Marr BinksJoshua Smith	2-4	698.6	▲ 1
10	The McBrideBen Dudash	2-4	670.7	▲ 2
11	Iavana HumpalotDevin Golden	1-5	578.4	▼ 5
12	JeantyficationJeff Darcy	1-5	568.2	▲ 1

The week in numbers

High score: 145.20 Gruden's Grinders (Brent)
Low score: 61.68 Iavana Humpalot (Devin)
Closest: 6.80 Hill Street Blues over LaPorta Potty Love
Blowout: 54.30 Remember The Tateans over Iavana Humpalot
League average: 106.35 all-time 112.42

Payouts

High teamGruden's GrindersBrent Balga145.20

High starterTrevor LawrenceQB · JAX · started by Steven Cortright (X Gon' Gibbs It To Ya)27.34

Money race, thru week 6

Sal Cicero 3
Luke Uliana 2
Brent Balga 2
Daniel Martisofski 2
Steven Cortright 2
Joshua Smith 1

Still waiting on a payout: Ben Dudash, Davis Martisofski, Devin Golden, Jeff Darcy, Lovell Bivins, Sean Bilger.

Two payouts every week: highest team score and highest single starter. Bench points never count.

Honor roll

The week's highest-scoring starters, whichever lineup they were in.

Trevor Lawrence QB · JAXX Gon' Gibbs It To Ya · StevenProjected 17.727.34
Tyler Shough QB · NOThe McBride · BenProjected 16.826.96
Kenneth Walker III RB · KCBrotherly Shove · SeanProjected 21.926.9
Christian McCaffrey RB · SFThe McBride · BenProjected 19.226.2
Drake Maye QB · NEGruden's Grinders · BrentProjected 20.323.8

Detention

The starters who missed their projection by the most.

Bijan Robinson RB · ATLGruden's Grinders · BrentScored 6.3 of 21.3−15.0
Derrick Henry RB · BALIavana Humpalot · DevinScored 4.5 of 17.6−13.1
Jameis Winston QB · NYGBrotherly Shove · SeanScored 6.48 of 17.8−11.3
Kyren Williams RB · LARTaking out the Trash Panda · LovellScored 8.2 of 19.2−11.0
Brandon Aubrey K · DALTaking out the Trash Panda · LovellScored 1.0 of 10.6−9.6

Bench of shame

Sat and scored. Points that never made it onto the card.

Tre Tucker WR · LVLaPorta Potty Love · Sal24.2
Jayden Daniels QB · WSHLaPorta Potty Love · Sal21.0
DeVonta Smith WR · PHIJeantyfication · Jeff17.0
DeMario Douglas WR · NEBrotherly Shove · Sean16.1
Keon Coleman WR · BUFThe McBride · Ben13.9

How this week stacks up

Every score this week against all 2,544 team-weeks played in this league since 2013.

145.20Gruden's Grinders Brent#276 all-time · top 10.8%

128.36The McBride Ben#615 all-time · top 24.2%

115.98Remember The Tateans Luke#1,032 all-time · top 40.6%

111.72Jeantyfication Jeff#1,214 all-time · top 47.7%

111.58Brotherly Shove Sean#1,218 all-time · top 47.9%

108.50Ja'Marr Ja'Marr Binks Joshua#1,334 all-time · top 52.4%

104.34Hill Street Blues Davis#1,519 all-time · top 59.7%

102.24X Gon' Gibbs It To Ya Steven#1,597 all-time · top 62.8%

97.54LaPorta Potty Love Sal#1,773 all-time · top 69.7%

94.56Taking out the Trash Panda Lovell#1,892 all-time · top 74.4%

94.50Buffalo!!!! Daniel#1,896 all-time · top 74.5%

61.68Iavana Humpalot Devin#2,503 all-time · top 98.4%

Game stories

Trailed by 27.00 after Thu

Hill Street BluesDavis Martisofski · 4-2104.34

def.by 6.80

LaPorta Potty LoveSal Cicero · 4-297.54

	Thu	Sun early	Sun late	SNF	MNF
Davis	0.0	56.7	58.9	90.6	104.3
Sal	27.0	66.4	77.4	86.6	97.5

Hill Street Blues (Davis Martisofski) beat LaPorta Potty Love (Sal Cicero) 104.34 to 97.54, a margin of 6.80. Sal led 27.0 to 0.0 after Thu; Sal led 66.4 to 56.7 after the Sunday early; Sal led 77.4 to 58.9 after the Sunday late; Davis led 90.6 to 86.6 after Sunday night; Davis led 104.3 to 97.5 after Monday night.

Isaiah Likely scored 20.9 for the winner, the best starter in the game. Bryce Young scored 19.84 for Sal. Davis left 29.2 on the bench, Sal left 45.2.

Davis trailed by 27.00 after Thu and won anyway.

Trailed by 25.80 after Thu

The McBrideBen Dudash · 2-4128.36

def.by 33.80

Taking out the Trash PandaLovell Bivins · 3-394.56

	Thu	Sun early	Sun late	SNF	MNF
Ben	0.0	69.2	97.2	97.2	128.4
Lovell	25.8	68.0	76.2	77.2	94.6

The McBride (Ben Dudash) beat Taking out the Trash Panda (Lovell Bivins) 128.36 to 94.56, a margin of 33.80. Lovell led 25.8 to 0.0 after Thu; Ben led 69.2 to 68.0 after the Sunday early; Ben led 97.2 to 76.2 after the Sunday late; Ben led 97.2 to 77.2 after Sunday night; Ben led 128.4 to 94.6 after Monday night.

Tyler Shough scored 26.96 for the winner, the best starter in the game. Jonathan Taylor scored 20.1 for Lovell. Ben left 20.7 on the bench, Lovell left 19.5.

Ben trailed by 25.80 after Thu and won anyway.

Trailed by 19.40 after Thu

Gruden's GrindersBrent Balga · 3-3145.20

def.by 33.62

Brotherly ShoveSean Bilger · 3-3111.58

	Thu	Sun early	Sun late	SNF	MNF
Brent	0.0	139.0	145.2	145.2	145.2
Sean	19.4	76.5	110.6	111.6	111.6

Gruden's Grinders (Brent Balga) beat Brotherly Shove (Sean Bilger) 145.20 to 111.58, a margin of 33.62. Sean led 19.4 to 0.0 after Thu; Brent led 139.0 to 76.5 after the Sunday early; Brent led 145.2 to 110.6 after the Sunday late; Brent led 145.2 to 111.6 after Sunday night; Brent led 145.2 to 111.6 after Monday night.

Drake Maye scored 23.8 for the winner, the best starter in the game. Kenneth Walker III scored 26.9 for Sean. Brent left 10.5 on the bench, Sean left 16.5.

Brent trailed by 19.40 after Thu and won anyway.

JeantyficationJeff Darcy · 1-5111.72

def.by 9.48

X Gon' Gibbs It To YaSteven Cortright · 3-3102.24

Jeantyfication (Jeff Darcy) beat X Gon' Gibbs It To Ya (Steven Cortright) 111.72 to 102.24, a margin of 9.48. Jeff led 7.5 to 0.0 after Thu; Jeff led 79.0 to 53.2 after the Sunday early; Jeff led 108.7 to 91.9 after the Sunday late; Jeff led 108.7 to 102.2 after Sunday night; Jeff led 111.7 to 102.2 after Monday night.

Ja'Marr Ja'Marr BinksJoshua Smith · 2-4108.50

def.by 14.00

Buffalo!!!!Daniel Martisofski · 5-194.50

Ja'Marr Ja'Marr Binks (Joshua Smith) beat Buffalo!!!! (Daniel Martisofski) 108.50 to 94.50, a margin of 14.00. Joshua led 76.3 to 14.2 after the Sunday early; Joshua led 90.3 to 68.0 after the Sunday late; Joshua led 108.5 to 75.9 after Sunday night; Joshua led 108.5 to 94.5 after Monday night.

Remember The TateansLuke Uliana · 5-1115.98

def.by 54.30

Iavana HumpalotDevin Golden · 1-561.68

Remember The Tateans (Luke Uliana) beat Iavana Humpalot (Devin Golden) 115.98 to 61.68, a margin of 54.30. Luke led 5.2 to 0.0 after Thu; Luke led 79.7 to 21.0 after the Sunday early; Luke led 96.6 to 61.7 after the Sunday late; Luke led 116.0 to 61.7 after Sunday night; Luke led 116.0 to 61.7 after Monday night.

Strange but true

Season-long oddities through week 6, straight from the box scores. Nobody wrote these; the lineups did.

Brotherly Shove (Sean) has 23.7 points from the tight end slot in 6 weeks, 3.9 a week. The league high is 78.6, The McBride (Ben).
Hill Street Blues (Davis) has 87.0 points from the quarterback slot in 6 weeks, 14.5 a week. The league high is 160.8, Buffalo!!!! (Daniel).
Jeantyfication (Jeff) has 36.5 points from the kicker slot in 6 weeks, 6.1 a week. The league high is 73.5, Ja'Marr Ja'Marr Binks (Joshua).
Brotherly Shove (Sean) has 14.0 points from the defense slot in 6 weeks, 2.3 a week. The league high is 59.0, Gruden's Grinders (Brent).
14 of 36 games this season flip if the loser starts a perfect lineup. Hill Street Blues (Davis) is 4-2, and would be 6-0 with the right card every week.
Ja'Marr Ja'Marr Binks (Joshua) has left 102.0 points on the bench this season, the most in the league, 17.0 a week.
Ja'Marr Ja'Marr Binks (Joshua) is 2-4, but 34-32 against the whole league week by week. Buffalo!!!! (Daniel) is 5-1 and 42-24 the same way.
The McBride (Ben) has had 742.68 points scored against it, 17.94 more than anyone else. LaPorta Potty Love (Sal) has faced the least, 605.40.
27 starters have scored zero or less this season. Brotherly Shove (Sean) has started 4 of them.
The least-started starter of the season is Mack Hollins, in the lineup for Taking out the Trash Panda (Lovell) in Week 5 at 0.2 percent of ESPN. He scored 0.0.
4 of 36 games have been decided by fewer than 5 points.
Iavana Humpalot (Devin) has led after the Sunday late games 3 times and won 0 of those.

If you had started the right guys

Team	Record	Perfect card	Everyone perfect	vs. the field	Left on bench
Buffalo!!!!Daniel Martisofski	5-1	5-1	5-1	42-24	90.7
Remember The TateansLuke Uliana	5-1	6-0	6-0	53-13	74.5
Hill Street BluesDavis Martisofski	4-2	6-0	4-2	31-35	99.4
LaPorta Potty LoveSal Cicero	4-2	5-1	5-1	36-30	93.2
Taking out the Trash PandaLovell Bivins	3-3	4-2	3-3	25-41	88.3
Brotherly ShoveSean Bilger	3-3	4-2	2-4	43-23	48.9
X Gon' Gibbs It To YaSteven Cortright	3-3	4-2	3-3	35-31	79.7
Gruden's GrindersBrent Balga	3-3	4-2	3-3	36-30	59.6
Ja'Marr Ja'Marr BinksJoshua Smith	2-4	4-2	2-4	34-32	102.0
The McBrideBen Dudash	2-4	3-3	1-5	30-36	85.4
Iavana HumpalotDevin Golden	1-5	2-4	1-5	17-49	73.5
JeantyficationJeff Darcy	1-5	3-3	1-5	14-52	80.5

Perfect card: your best possible lineup against what your opponent actually scored. vs. the field: your score against all eleven other teams, every week.

Position report card · points by slot

Team	QB	RB	WR	TE	FLEX	K	D/ST
Buffalo!!!!Daniel	160.8	150.8	153.7	76.7	82.1	57.2	56.0
Remember The TateansLuke	105.9	170.0	272.2	54.9	75.3	68.1	37.0
Hill Street BluesDavis	87.0	125.5	222.1	43.2	84.9	58.5	51.0
LaPorta Potty LoveSal	109.3	131.9	234.9	65.2	44.6	62.0	57.0
Taking out the Trash PandaLovell	103.5	215.0	129.0	41.4	51.5	44.8	48.0
Brotherly ShoveSean	110.3	193.3	249.2	23.7	64.5	37.9	14.0
X Gon' Gibbs It To YaSteven	114.2	200.5	156.8	78.2	51.1	67.1	27.0
Gruden's GrindersBrent	111.0	187.3	167.1	57.9	56.2	66.1	59.0
Ja'Marr Ja'Marr BinksJoshua	130.3	122.7	233.9	43.9	72.3	73.5	22.0
The McBrideBen	93.9	195.4	174.2	78.6	31.2	61.4	36.0
Iavana HumpalotDevin	100.2	140.0	155.7	55.1	54.8	43.6	29.0
JeantyficationJeff	119.8	88.8	167.8	43.1	93.2	36.5	19.0

Lowest in each column in red, highest in green. RB is two slots, WR three.

Power rankings

#1Remember The Tateans Luke Uliana · 5-1 · ▲ 1Beat Iavana Humpalot (Devin Golden), 115.98-61.68. D'Andre Swift led with 21.0.
#2Buffalo!!!! Daniel Martisofski · 5-1 · ▼ 1Lost to Ja'Marr Ja'Marr Binks (Joshua Smith), 94.50-108.50. James Cook III led with 22.8.
#3LaPorta Potty Love Sal Cicero · 4-2Lost to Hill Street Blues (Davis Martisofski), 97.54-104.34. Bryce Young led with 19.84.
#4Hill Street Blues Davis Martisofski · 4-2 · ▲ 2Beat LaPorta Potty Love (Sal Cicero), 104.34-97.54. Isaiah Likely led with 20.9.
#5Gruden's Grinders Brent Balga · 3-3 · ▲ 3Beat Brotherly Shove (Sean Bilger), 145.20-111.58. Drake Maye led with 23.8.
#6X Gon' Gibbs It To Ya Steven Cortright · 3-3 · ▼ 2Lost to Jeantyfication (Jeff Darcy), 102.24-111.72. Trevor Lawrence led with 27.34.
#7Brotherly Shove Sean Bilger · 3-3 · ▼ 2Lost to Gruden's Grinders (Brent Balga), 111.58-145.20. Kenneth Walker III led with 26.9.
#8Taking out the Trash Panda Lovell Bivins · 3-3 · ▼ 1Lost to The McBride (Ben Dudash), 94.56-128.36. Jonathan Taylor led with 20.1.
#9Ja'Marr Ja'Marr Binks Joshua Smith · 2-4Beat Buffalo!!!! (Daniel Martisofski), 108.50-94.50. Chris Boswell led with 17.9.
#10The McBride Ben Dudash · 2-4Beat Taking out the Trash Panda (Lovell Bivins), 128.36-94.56. Tyler Shough led with 26.96.
#11Iavana Humpalot Devin Golden · 1-5Lost to Remember The Tateans (Luke Uliana), 61.68-115.98. Matt Gay led with 11.5.
#12Jeantyfication Jeff Darcy · 1-5Beat X Gon' Gibbs It To Ya (Steven Cortright), 111.72-102.24. Kyle Pitts Sr. led with 20.5.

Season record book

Highest score	166.20	LaPorta Potty Love (Sal Cicero) · wk 5All-time: 257.00, Joshua Smith, 2015 wk 13
Lowest scoreNew this week	61.68	Iavana Humpalot (Devin Golden) · wk 6All-time: 35.94, Jeff Darcy, 2021 wk 15
Biggest blowout	+84.50	LaPorta Potty Love over Taking out the Trash Panda · wk 5All-time: +120.14, Davis Martisofski over Ben Dudash, 2024 wk 11
Closest game	+0.30	Remember The Tateans over Brotherly Shove · wk 3All-time: +0.02, Joshua Smith over Davis Martisofski, 2017 wk 1
Highest combined	286.76	Remember The Tateans vs Ja'Marr Ja'Marr Binks · wk 5All-time: 491.00, mets946234 vs Joshua Smith, 2015 wk 13
Most points in a loss	132.24	Ja'Marr Ja'Marr Binks (Joshua Smith) · wk 5
Longest win streakNew this week	2	Remember The Tateans (Luke Uliana) · wk 6All-time: 10, Davis Martisofski
Longest losing streakNew this week	5	Iavana Humpalot (Devin Golden) · wk 6

All-time lines cover 13 completed seasons, 1,272 games, 2013–2026.

Next week's lines

Made up from ESPN's Week 7 projections. The Dispatch takes no bets.

Favorite	Spread	Underdog	O/U	Win prob.
Remember The TateansLuke Uliana · proj 127.1	−59.0	JeantyficationJeff Darcy · proj 68.1	195.0	81%
Brotherly ShoveSean Bilger · proj 82.8	−28.5	Buffalo!!!!Daniel Martisofski · proj 54.3	137.0	73%
Gruden's GrindersBrent Balga · proj 87.4	−18.0	X Gon' Gibbs It To YaSteven Cortright · proj 69.2	156.5	65%
Taking out the Trash PandaLovell Bivins · proj 115.8	−16.5	Ja'Marr Ja'Marr BinksJoshua Smith · proj 99.3	215.0	59%
Hill Street BluesDavis Martisofski · proj 93.7	−8.5	Iavana HumpalotDevin Golden · proj 85.0	179.0	56%
LaPorta Potty LoveSal Cicero · proj 120.1	−4.5	The McBrideBen Dudash · proj 115.6	235.5	40%

Week 7 opens with Remember The Tateans (Luke Uliana) favored by 59.0 over Jeantyfication (Jeff Darcy), the biggest line on the board. LaPorta Potty Love and The McBride is the closest, 4.5.

Brent Scores 145.20, Davis Survives by 6.80