The Mega Bowl Dispatch
Week 3 edition · Tuesday, September 29, 2026
This week
Week 3 had a game decided by 0.30 and a game decided by 62.12. Two teams are 3-0, two are 0-3, and three of the six teams that lost had a winning lineup on the roster. Sean needed one tight end. Jeff needed one wide receiver. Ben needed two swaps and would have won by 0.02. Names are in the receipts.
Buffalo!!!! (Daniel Martisofski) scored 148.86, the high score of the season, past the 145.40 Remember The Tateans (Luke Uliana) posted in Week 1. Dan did it with seven starters at 15 or better and nobody above 23.2. X Gon' Gibbs It To Ya (Steven Cortright) got 37.9 from Jahmyr Gibbs, the high starter of the week, and won for the first time. Gruden's Grinders (Brent Balga) won for the first time too, with a quarterback who scored 3.76. Luke's run of high scores ended at two and he is 3-0 anyway. Jeantyfication (Jeff Darcy) has led after the 4:25 games in all three weeks and is 0-3.
Standings
| # | Team | W-L | Pts | Strk |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 |  Remember The TateansLuke Uliana |
3-0 | 399.8 | ▲ 3 |
| 2 |  Buffalo!!!!Daniel Martisofski |
3-0 | 384.6 | ▲ 3 |
| 3 |  Brotherly ShoveSean Bilger |
2-1 | 363.6 | ▼ 1 |
| 4 |  Taking out the Trash PandaLovell Bivins |
2-1 | 323.6 | ▲ 2 |
| 5 |  Hill Street BluesDavis Martisofski |
2-1 | 323.6 | ▲ 2 |
| 6 |  LaPorta Potty LoveSal Cicero |
2-1 | 300.2 | ▼ 1 |
| 7 |  Ja'Marr Ja'Marr BinksJoshua Smith |
1-2 | 341.3 | ▼ 2 |
| 8 |  X Gon' Gibbs It To YaSteven Cortright |
1-2 | 336.3 | ▲ 1 |
| 9 |  Iavana HumpalotDevin Golden |
1-2 | 314.5 | ▼ 2 |
| 10 |  Gruden's GrindersBrent Balga |
1-2 | 307.5 | ▲ 1 |
| 11 |  The McBrideBen Dudash |
0-3 | 333.7 | ▼ 3 |
| 12 |  JeantyficationJeff Darcy |
0-3 | 268.8 | ▼ 3 |
The week in numbers
- High score
- 148.86 Buffalo!!!! (Daniel)
- Low score
- 83.48 Jeantyfication (Jeff)
- Closest
- 0.30 Remember The Tateans over Brotherly Shove
- Blowout
- 62.12 Buffalo!!!! over LaPorta Potty Love
- League average
- 112.29 all-time 112.38
Payouts
- Luke Uliana 2
- Daniel Martisofski 2
- Joshua Smith 1
- Steven Cortright 1
Still waiting on a payout: Ben Dudash, Brent Balga, Davis Martisofski, Devin Golden, Jeff Darcy, Lovell Bivins, Sal Cicero, Sean Bilger.
Two payouts every week: highest team score and highest single starter. Bench points never count.
Honor roll
The week's highest-scoring starters, whichever lineup they were in.
- Jahmyr Gibbs RB · DETX Gon' Gibbs It To Ya · StevenProjected 23.437.9
Bijan Robinson RB · ATLGruden's Grinders · BrentProjected 17.334.3
Jaxon Smith-Njigba WR · SEABrotherly Shove · SeanProjected 17.230.36
Bo Nix QB · DENHill Street Blues · DavisProjected 16.624.14
Drake London WR · ATLTaking out the Trash Panda · LovellProjected 12.523.9
Detention
The starters who missed their projection by the most.
De'Von Achane RB · MIAHill Street Blues · DavisScored 1.7 of 17.3−15.6
Drake Maye QB · NEGruden's Grinders · BrentScored 3.76 of 18.6−14.8
Jonathan Taylor RB · INDTaking out the Trash Panda · LovellScored 8.2 of 19.1−10.9
Justin Jefferson WR · MINJeantyfication · JeffScored 4.2 of 14.8−10.6
Jadarian Price RB · SEAJa'Marr Ja'Marr Binks · JoshuaScored 0.7 of 11.3−10.6
Bench of shame
Sat and scored. Points that never made it onto the card.
Brock Purdy QB · SFTaking out the Trash Panda · Lovell31.28
Juwan Johnson TE · NOBuffalo!!!! · Daniel19.3
Dak Prescott QB · DALIavana Humpalot · Devin18.94
Terry McLaurin WR · WSHBuffalo!!!! · Daniel16.7
Jakobi Meyers WR · JAXThe McBride · Ben15.9
How this week stacks up
Every score this week against all 2,508 team-weeks played in this league since 2013.
Game stories
| Thu | Sun early | Sun late | SNF | MNF | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Luke | 18.5 | 76.0 | 91.2 | 112.1 | 121.9 |
| Sean | 0.0 | 102.2 | 122.6 | 122.6 | 121.6 |
Matthew Golden gave Remember The Tateans (Luke Uliana) 18.5 on Thursday night. Then Brotherly Shove (Sean Bilger) put eight starters in the 1:00 window and they scored 102.16: Jaxon Smith-Njigba 30.36, Kenneth Walker III 20.3, Tee Higgins 18.0, Josh Downs 10.2. Sean led 102.16 to 76.0 at 4 o'clock. Lamar Jackson added 20.44 in the late window and it was 122.6 to 91.2, a 31.4 lead, with one Sean starter still to play.
Matthew Stafford scored 20.9 on Sunday night and the lead was 10.5. Monday night was Eagles at Bears. Luke had D'Andre Swift, a Bear. Sean had the Eagles defense. Swift scored 9.8, which left Luke 0.7 short. The Bears won 27 to 7 and the Eagles defense finished at -1.0. Sean's total went down on the last night of the week, from 122.6 to 121.60, and Luke's 121.90 was enough.
Sean, the receipt. Colston Loveland started at tight end in Weeks 1 and 2 and scored 0.0 and 0.8. He got benched for Dalton Schultz. Schultz scored 4.5. Loveland scored 5.1 on Monday night, for the Bears, in the game that beat you. That swap is worth 0.6 and the game was decided by 0.30. An empty defense slot wins it too. These were the two tightest lineups in the league, Sean 0.6 off perfect and Luke 0.9, and it came down to a tight end and a defense. Sean has scored 121.96, 120.00 and 121.60 this season. The first two won.
| Thu | Sun early | Sun late | SNF | MNF | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Lovell | 23.9 | 36.1 | 49.9 | 79.9 | 92.5 |
| Jeff | 1.0 | 61.1 | 74.0 | 74.0 | 83.5 |
Drake London scored 23.9 on Thursday for Taking out the Trash Panda (Lovell Bivins) and Kyle Pitts Sr. scored 1.0 for Jeantyfication (Jeff Darcy), so Lovell led by 22.9 before the weekend. Then Lovell's early window produced 12.2 points from three starters, Jonathan Taylor 8.2, the Steelers defense 4.0 and Calvin Ridley 0.0, while Jeff got 22.58 from Joe Burrow and 13.0 from Chuba Hubbard. Jeff led 61.08 to 36.1 at 4 o'clock and 73.98 to 49.9 when the late games ended. A 24.08 lead.
Lovell had three starters in Rams at Broncos on Sunday night: Kyren Williams 18.8, J.K. Dobbins 5.8, Jaylen Waddle 5.4. That is 30.0, and Lovell led 79.9 to 73.98. Each team had one Eagle left for Monday. Jalen Hurts scored 12.62 for Lovell. DeVonta Smith scored 9.5 for Jeff. These were two of the three lowest scores in the league and one of them had to win.
Jeff, third Tuesday in a row. Keenan Allen scored 15.3 on your bench. In for Justin Jefferson (4.2) he wins the game by 2.06. In for TreVeyon Henderson (3.4) he wins it by 2.86. Henderson got the start one week after scoring 13.6 on the bench. Kyle Pitts Sr. has started three times and scored 0.0, 2.0 and 1.0, and T.J. Hockenson has outscored him from the bench all three weeks. Jeff has led after the late games every week of the season and has not won. Lovell should not feel good either: Brock Purdy scored 31.28 on his bench behind Hurts, and we will get to that.
| Thu | Sun early | Sun late | SNF | MNF | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Davis | 0.0 | 40.2 | 93.8 | 117.9 | 117.9 |
| Joshua | 4.6 | 82.6 | 99.9 | 99.9 | 99.9 |
Ja'Marr Ja'Marr Binks (Joshua Smith) had seven starters in the early window and they scored 77.96: Ja'Marr Chase 20.3, Jared Goff 19.36, Evan McPherson 11.8, Cam Skattebo 11.5, Parker Washington 11.5. Josh led 82.56 to 40.2 at 4 o'clock, a 42.36 lead. Hill Street Blues (Davis Martisofski) had gotten 20.6 from Harold Fannin Jr. and 1.7 from De'Von Achane.
Josh had two starters left, both in the late window. Javonte Williams scored 17.3. The 49ers defense scored 0.0. That was the end of Josh's week at 99.86. Davis got 53.6 from four late starters, CeeDee Lamb 16.7, Zay Flowers 12.9, Tyler Loop 12.3 and Aaron Jones Sr. 11.7, and trailed by 6.06 with Bo Nix still to play on Sunday night. Nix scored 24.14.
Davis benched Nix for Justin Herbert in Weeks 1 and 2. This week he started Nix, whom 24.0 percent of ESPN started, and Herbert scored 12.74 sitting down. He also started two tight ends, Fannin in the flex and Isaiah Likely (2.3) at tight end, which is one way to settle the tight end question. Davis has now won two straight after trailing by more than 33 at 4 o'clock. Josh did not have a lineup that wins this one: a perfect card scores 108.76. Since the 144.06 in Week 1, Josh has scored 97.42 and 99.86.
The high score of the season and the biggest margin, 62.12. Buffalo!!!! (Daniel Martisofski) had seven starters at 15 or better: George Kittle 23.2, Michael Wilson 20.4, James Cook III 19.4, Christian Watson 19.1, the Vikings defense 19.0, Josh Allen 16.96, Deebo Samuel Sr. 15.4. Four of them played in the late window and scored 78.0 between them. Dan's best starter was the seventh-best starter in the league, and Dan had the high team by 16.38. His bench scored 51.1, Juwan Johnson 19.3 and Terry McLaurin 16.7, and a perfect lineup from this roster scores 167.76. LaPorta Potty Love (Sal Cicero) started Bryce Young (13.64) with Jayden Daniels on the bench at 0.0, got 2.7 from Tetairoa McMillan, and lost for the first time. No lineup on Sal's roster gets within 50.
Jahmyr Gibbs scored 37.9 in the early window, the high starter of the week, and X Gon' Gibbs It To Ya (Steven Cortright) led 70.18 to 21.6 at 4 o'clock. Brock Bowers started for the first time this season and scored 22.6. Steve scored 123.60 in Week 1 and lost, 80.26 in Week 2 and lost, and 132.48 this week, the same number Luke won the money with last week. The McBride (Ben Dudash) fixed the quarterback, Tyler Shough 23.8, and got within 11.18 after Davante Adams scored 17.2 on Sunday night. Monday was Bears against Eagles: Luther Burden III 16.3 for Steve, Rome Odunze 5.9 and Dontayvion Wicks 4.2 for Ben. Ben had Jakobi Meyers (15.9), Keaton Mitchell (12.2) and Tony Pollard (11.6) on the bench. Meyers for Wicks and Pollard for Odunze scores 132.50. Steve scored 132.48. Ben is 0-3.
Bijan Robinson scored 34.3 on Thursday night and Gruden's Grinders (Brent Balga) never trailed. Jordan Addison scored 17.5 at an 8.6 percent start rate, Bhayshul Tuten 16.0 in the flex, Chase McLaughlin 13.0. Drake Maye scored 3.76 at quarterback and Brent won by 15.92 anyway. Makai Lemon, who started Weeks 1 and 2 for a combined 2.4, was benched and scored 4.4. Iavana Humpalot (Devin Golden) started Patrick Mahomes (15.94) with Dak Prescott (18.94) on the bench, one week after getting that call right for the first time. Michael Pittman Jr. started for 2.6 with Malik Washington (8.6) sitting, and the Bengals defense scored 0.0. A perfect lineup from Devin's roster scores 114.54 and still loses by 6.92. Brent is 1-2. Devin is 1-2.
Weekly awards
Named for the man Lovell Bivins starts every week at the lowest start rate in the league, who answered again this week with 0.0. This week's winner is Jadarian Price, who held a lineup spot for Ja'Marr Ja'Marr Binks (Joshua Smith) against a real projection and produced 0.7, with Stefon Diggs sitting at 5.3. Josh led by 42.36 at 4 o'clock. He did not need the help, and he did not get it.
Jeff Darcy has started Kyle Pitts Sr. three weeks running for 0.0, 2.0 and 1.0, and every one of those weeks T.J. Hockenson outscored him from the bench. This week the award goes to De'Von Achane, projected 17.3 for Hill Street Blues (Davis Martisofski), who scored 1.7 with Rachaad White sitting at 10.6. Davis won by 18.08 anyway, which is the only reason this is funny.
Brock Purdy has scored 21.1, 28.48 and 31.28 on the bench of Taking out the Trash Panda (Lovell Bivins), 80.86 points in three weeks for a quarterback who has started zero games. Jalen Hurts went 12.62 in his place. The award is named for its winner. Lovell won by 9.04 with the third-lowest score in the league, so the system works.
Steven Cortright scored 123.60 in Week 1 and lost, and the award keeps his number. This week it belongs to Brotherly Shove (Sean Bilger), who scored 121.60, the fourth-highest total in the league, with the tightest lineup in the league, 0.6 off perfect, and lost by 0.30 to a defense he started himself. Eight teams scored less than Sean and five of them won.
Obituaries
We gather today for the Eagles defense, which took the field on Monday night with a 10.5-point lead to protect and gave up 27 to the Bears. Final line: -1.0. Started by about 80 percent of ESPN, so the grief is widely shared. Colston Loveland scored 5.1 on the bench in the same game. In lieu of flowers, please do not ask Sean about the tight end.
Say a few words for Calvin. Zero points, all told, at a start rate under half a percent, which makes Lovell the only mourner in the country. Services will be brief. Lovell won the game by 9.04 and has given no indication the lineup will change.
The league mourns De'Von, who was started by 95 percent of ESPN and repaid none of them. Survived by Davis, who had Rachaad White (10.6) sitting right there and won by 18.08 regardless. Memorial at the 4 o'clock window, where Davis made up 42 points without him.
Lights out for Drake, 3.76 points from the quarterback slot, with no second quarterback on the roster to speak at the service. Brent won by 15.92 because Bijan Robinson scored 34.3 on Thursday night and nothing after that mattered. Maye's three-week line reads 9.82, 8.02, 3.76. The family asks for a backup.
Receipts
Every roster, every bench, every lineup card, checked against what a perfect lineup would have scored. Start rates are ESPN league-wide for Week 3.
Lost by 0.30 with the tightest lineup in the league, 0.6 off perfect, and the 0.6 was the game. Colston Loveland (5.1) sat behind Dalton Schultz (4.5) after starting two weeks for 0.0 and 0.8. The Eagles defense, started by about 80 percent of ESPN, scored -1.0 on Monday night with a 10.5 lead to protect. Jacory Croskey-Merritt held the flex at a 5.8 percent start rate and scored 4.8. Jaxon Smith-Njigba has scored 22.2, 38.0 and 30.36. Sean scored 121.60, the fourth-highest score of the week, and it lost to the third-highest.
Won by 0.30 and is 3-0. The lineup was 0.9 off perfect: Carnell Tate (8.8) sat behind Chase Brown (7.9). Amon-Ra St. Brown scored 9.9 after 23.7 and 30.7. Matthew Golden (18.5) and Jaylen Warren (19.1) carried it, and D'Andre Swift's 9.8 on Monday was 0.7 short of what Luke needed until the Eagles defense covered the difference. No payout this week, the first time all season. Luke still leads the money race, tied with Dan at two.
Lost by 9.04 with the low score of the week, 83.48. Keenan Allen (15.3) sat on the bench at a 2.2 percent start rate, and one swap wins the game: for Justin Jefferson (4.2) by 2.06, for TreVeyon Henderson (3.4) by 2.86. Jefferson has scored 27.2, 7.0 and 4.2. Kyle Pitts Sr. started for the third straight week, scored 1.0, and has 3.0 points on the season. T.J. Hockenson (2.1) beat him from the bench again. A perfect lineup scores 96.48. Jeff is 0-3 and has led after the late games all three weeks.
Lost by 17.38 and had the win on the bench by 0.02. Jakobi Meyers (15.9) sat behind Dontayvion Wicks (4.2), who sat for two weeks with 14.3 and 9.9 and got the start just in time to stop scoring. Tony Pollard (11.6) and Keaton Mitchell (12.2) sat behind Rome Odunze (5.9) in the flex. Meyers and Pollard in: 132.50 against Steve's 132.48. Trey Smack kicked for 1.0. Tyler Shough (23.8) at quarterback was the right call. Ben scored 115.10, more than five other teams, and is 0-3.
Won by 9.04 with the third-lowest score of the week, 92.52. Brock Purdy (31.28) sat behind Jalen Hurts (12.62), and that one swap is the entire 18.66 gap to a perfect lineup. Purdy has scored 21.1, 28.48 and 31.28 on this bench, 80.86 in three weeks, and 70.1 percent of ESPN started him this week. Calvin Ridley started again, again at the lowest start rate of any starter in this league, under half a percent, and scored 0.0. J.K. Dobbins held the flex for the third straight week: 3.6, 3.6, 5.8. Lovell is 2-1.
Won by 17.38 and owns the high starter of the week, Jahmyr Gibbs 37.9. Also left 19.9 on the bench, the biggest gap in the league. Wan'Dale Robinson (15.2) sat behind Brian Thomas Jr. (1.3), who started for the third straight week at a 9.1 percent start rate and has scored 5.5, 5.5 and 1.3. Michael Mayer (10.7) sat behind Rashod Bateman (4.7), who scored 18.3 last week. Brock Bowers started for the first time and scored 22.6. A perfect lineup scores 152.38, which would have been the high team.
High score of the season, 148.86, and the lineup was still 18.9 off perfect. Juwan Johnson (19.3) and Terry McLaurin (16.7) sat. Emmett Johnson started at running back at a 1.5 percent start rate and scored 1.7 with Chris Rodriguez Jr. (9.7) on the bench. That running back slot has now produced 2.3, 0.9 and 1.7 from three different players. Michael Wilson in the flex at 14.6 percent scored 20.4, so Dan got one of the hard ones right. Dan is 3-0 with two payouts and has not needed his bench yet.
Won by 18.08 after trailing by 42.36. Started Bo Nix (24.14) over Justin Herbert (12.74), one week after starting Herbert (7.88) over Nix (14.12). Started Harold Fannin Jr. (20.6) and Isaiah Likely (2.3) together, so the tight end call was both right and wrong. De'Von Achane, started by 95 percent of ESPN, scored 1.7 with Rachaad White (10.6) on the bench. Courtland Sutton (6.1) sat while Likely took a starting spot. A perfect lineup scores 130.64. Davis left 12.7 on the bench and is 2-1.
Lost by 62.12. Terrance Ferguson held the flex at an 11.4 percent start rate and scored 1.4, one week after scoring 14.4 on the bench. Tre Tucker (6.3) sat one week after scoring 20.4 on the bench. RJ Harvey (7.7) sat. Tetairoa McMillan scored 2.7. Puka Nacua was on the bench at 0.0 for the second straight week and Jayden Daniels joined him there. A perfect lineup scores 96.64 and loses by 52. Sal was 2-0 on two close ones. This was not close.
Lost by 15.92. Dak Prescott (18.94) sat behind Patrick Mahomes (15.94). Through three weeks Devin has started the lower-scoring quarterback twice. Malik Washington (8.6) sat behind Michael Pittman Jr. (2.6), whom about 9 percent of ESPN started. The Bengals defense scored 0.0. Benching Dalton Kincaid (2.8), a 70.6 percent start, was correct. A perfect lineup scores 114.54 and loses to Brent by 6.92. Devin is 1-2 and this one was not on the lineup card.
Lost by 18.08 after leading by 42.36 at 4 o'clock. Denzel Boston (7.1) sat behind Jalen Coker (2.8). Stefon Diggs (5.3) sat behind Jadarian Price (0.7). The 49ers defense scored 0.0. Caleb Williams, who scored 37.26 in Week 1, was on the bench at 0.0 and Jared Goff started for 19.36. Nico Collins has been on the bench at 0.0 for two weeks. A perfect lineup scores 108.76 and loses by 9.18. Josh is 1-2.
Won by 15.92, first win of the season. Left 8.5 on the bench: Tre' Harris (10.6) sat behind Malik Nabers (5.1), and Brian Robinson Jr. (11.0) sat behind Travis Etienne Jr. (8.0). Xavier Hutchinson started at a 2.4 percent start rate and scored 7.0. Jordan Addison at 8.6 percent scored 17.5. Drake Maye has scored 9.82, 8.02 and 3.76 at quarterback and there is no other quarterback on the roster. Bijan Robinson scored 34.3 and covered for all of it.
Strange but true
Season-long oddities through week 3, straight from the box scores. Nobody wrote these; the lineups did.
- Jeantyfication (Jeff) has 3.0 points from the tight end slot in 3 weeks, 1.0 a week. The league high is 46.1, The McBride (Ben).
- Gruden's Grinders (Brent) has 21.6 points from the quarterback slot in 3 weeks, 7.2 a week. The league high is 93.4, Buffalo!!!! (Daniel).
- Brotherly Shove (Sean) has 11.0 points from the kicker slot in 3 weeks, 3.7 a week. The league high is 44.1, Ja'Marr Ja'Marr Binks (Joshua).
- Iavana Humpalot (Devin) has 6.0 points from the defense slot in 3 weeks, 2.0 a week. The league high is 31.0, Buffalo!!!! (Daniel).
- 9 of 18 games this season flip if the loser starts a perfect lineup. Jeantyfication (Jeff) is 0-3, and would be 2-1 with the right card every week.
- Ja'Marr Ja'Marr Binks (Joshua) has left 66.8 points on the bench this season, the most in the league, 22.3 a week.
- The McBride (Ben) is 0-3, but 15-18 against the whole league week by week. LaPorta Potty Love (Sal) is 2-1 and 11-22 the same way.
- The McBride (Ben) has had 409.02 points scored against it, 57.12 more than anyone else. Jeantyfication (Jeff) has faced the least, 299.06.
- 11 starters have scored zero or less this season. Brotherly Shove (Sean) has started 2 of them.
- The least-started starter of the season is Calvin Ridley, in the lineup for Taking out the Trash Panda (Lovell) in Week 2 at 0.3 percent of ESPN. He scored 4.5.
- 3 of 18 games have been decided by fewer than 5 points.
- Jeantyfication (Jeff) has led after the Sunday late games 3 times and won 0 of those.
If you had started the right guys
| Team | Record | Perfect card | Everyone perfect | vs. the field | Left on bench |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Buffalo!!!!Daniel Martisofski | 3-0 | 3-0 | 3-0 | 27-6 | 59.4 |
| Remember The TateansLuke Uliana | 3-0 | 3-0 | 3-0 | 31-2 | 22.4 |
| Taking out the Trash PandaLovell Bivins | 2-1 | 3-0 | 2-1 | 14-19 | 41.3 |
| Brotherly ShoveSean Bilger | 2-1 | 3-0 | 1-2 | 26-7 | 15.6 |
| Hill Street BluesDavis Martisofski | 2-1 | 3-0 | 3-0 | 13-20 | 61.8 |
| LaPorta Potty LoveSal Cicero | 2-1 | 2-1 | 2-1 | 11-22 | 36.3 |
| Iavana HumpalotDevin Golden | 1-2 | 2-1 | 1-2 | 12-21 | 53.2 |
| X Gon' Gibbs It To YaSteven Cortright | 1-2 | 2-1 | 1-2 | 19-14 | 39.9 |
| Gruden's GrindersBrent Balga | 1-2 | 1-2 | 1-2 | 11-22 | 25.9 |
| Ja'Marr Ja'Marr BinksJoshua Smith | 1-2 | 2-1 | 1-2 | 16-17 | 66.8 |
| JeantyficationJeff Darcy | 0-3 | 2-1 | 0-3 | 3-30 | 41.5 |
| The McBrideBen Dudash | 0-3 | 1-2 | 0-3 | 15-18 | 49.9 |
Perfect card: your best possible lineup against what your opponent actually scored. vs. the field: your score against all eleven other teams, every week.
Position report card · points by slot
| Team | QB | RB | WR | TE | FLEX | K | D/ST |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Buffalo!!!!Daniel | 93.4 | 53.1 | 86.2 | 41.4 | 56.1 | 23.4 | 31.0 |
| Remember The TateansLuke | 52.0 | 95.3 | 153.4 | 30.4 | 26.3 | 21.4 | 21.0 |
| Taking out the Trash PandaLovell | 53.5 | 106.5 | 65.3 | 26.5 | 13.0 | 27.8 | 31.0 |
| Brotherly ShoveSean | 60.2 | 111.2 | 151.8 | 5.3 | 16.1 | 11.0 | 8.0 |
| Hill Street BluesDavis | 45.3 | 47.9 | 131.6 | 11.2 | 34.2 | 33.4 | 20.0 |
| LaPorta Potty LoveSal | 46.0 | 72.0 | 82.5 | 27.4 | 20.7 | 23.6 | 28.0 |
| Iavana HumpalotDevin | 60.1 | 91.9 | 70.9 | 42.1 | 22.2 | 21.3 | 6.0 |
| X Gon' Gibbs It To YaSteven | 52.0 | 125.9 | 64.5 | 32.6 | 24.5 | 18.8 | 18.0 |
| Gruden's GrindersBrent | 21.6 | 96.6 | 53.7 | 27.7 | 38.5 | 38.4 | 31.0 |
| Ja'Marr Ja'Marr BinksJoshua | 64.3 | 44.1 | 118.2 | 15.1 | 46.5 | 44.1 | 9.0 |
| JeantyficationJeff | 52.9 | 39.1 | 103.7 | 3.0 | 48.6 | 11.5 | 10.0 |
| The McBrideBen | 51.2 | 100.3 | 94.3 | 46.1 | 15.1 | 13.7 | 13.0 |
Lowest in each column in red, highest in green. RB is two slots, WR three.
Power rankings
- #1Remember The Tateans Luke Uliana · 3-0Beat Brotherly Shove (Sean Bilger), 121.90-121.60. Matthew Stafford led with 20.9.
- #2Buffalo!!!! Daniel Martisofski · 3-0 · ▲ 1Beat LaPorta Potty Love (Sal Cicero), 148.86-86.74. George Kittle led with 23.2.
- #3Brotherly Shove Sean Bilger · 2-1 · ▼ 1Lost to Remember The Tateans (Luke Uliana), 121.60-121.90. Jaxon Smith-Njigba led with 30.36.
- #4Taking out the Trash Panda Lovell Bivins · 2-1 · ▲ 2Beat Jeantyfication (Jeff Darcy), 92.52-83.48. Drake London led with 23.9.
- #5Hill Street Blues Davis Martisofski · 2-1 · ▲ 3Beat Ja'Marr Ja'Marr Binks (Joshua Smith), 117.94-99.86. Bo Nix led with 24.14.
- #6LaPorta Potty Love Sal Cicero · 2-1 · ▼ 2Lost to Buffalo!!!! (Daniel Martisofski), 86.74-148.86. Jeremiyah Love led with 19.4.
- #7Ja'Marr Ja'Marr Binks Joshua Smith · 1-2 · ▼ 2Lost to Hill Street Blues (Davis Martisofski), 99.86-117.94. Ja'Marr Chase led with 20.3.
- #8X Gon' Gibbs It To Ya Steven Cortright · 1-2 · ▲ 2Beat The McBride (Ben Dudash), 132.48-115.10. Jahmyr Gibbs led with 37.9.
- #9Iavana Humpalot Devin Golden · 1-2 · ▼ 2Lost to Gruden's Grinders (Brent Balga), 105.54-121.46. Garrett Wilson led with 21.7.
- #10Gruden's Grinders Brent Balga · 1-2 · ▲ 1Beat Iavana Humpalot (Devin Golden), 121.46-105.54. Bijan Robinson led with 34.3.
- #11The McBride Ben Dudash · 0-3 · ▼ 2Lost to X Gon' Gibbs It To Ya (Steven Cortright), 115.10-132.48. Tyler Shough led with 23.8.
- #12Jeantyfication Jeff Darcy · 0-3Lost to Taking out the Trash Panda (Lovell Bivins), 83.48-92.52. Joe Burrow led with 22.58.
Season record book
| Highest scoreNew this week | 148.86 | Buffalo!!!! (Daniel Martisofski) · wk 3All-time: 257.00, Joshua Smith, 2015 wk 13 |
|---|---|---|
| Lowest score | 80.26 | X Gon' Gibbs It To Ya (Steven Cortright) · wk 2All-time: 35.94, Jeff Darcy, 2021 wk 15 |
| Biggest blowoutNew this week | +62.12 | Buffalo!!!! over LaPorta Potty Love · wk 3All-time: +120.14, Davis Martisofski over Ben Dudash, 2024 wk 11 |
| Closest gameNew this week | +0.30 | Remember The Tateans over Brotherly Shove · wk 3All-time: +0.02, Joshua Smith over Davis Martisofski, 2017 wk 1 |
| Highest combined | 269.00 | Remember The Tateans vs X Gon' Gibbs It To Ya · wk 1All-time: 491.00, mets946234 vs Joshua Smith, 2015 wk 13 |
| Most points in a loss | 123.60 | X Gon' Gibbs It To Ya (Steven Cortright) · wk 1 |
| Longest win streakNew this week | 3 | Remember The Tateans (Luke Uliana) · wk 3All-time: 10, Davis Martisofski |
| Longest losing streakNew this week | 3 | The McBride (Ben Dudash) · wk 3 |
All-time lines cover 13 completed seasons, 1,266 games, 2013–2026.
Next week's lines
Made up from ESPN's Week 4 projections. The Dispatch takes no bets.
| Favorite | Spread | Underdog | O/U | Win prob. |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Remember The TateansLuke Uliana · proj 120.9 | −19.0 | Hill Street BluesDavis Martisofski · proj 101.9 | 223.0 | 61% |
| Taking out the Trash PandaLovell Bivins · proj 109.6 | −12.0 | Gruden's GrindersBrent Balga · proj 97.4 | 207.0 | 57% |
| The McBrideBen Dudash · proj 118.0 | −9.0 | Brotherly ShoveSean Bilger · proj 109.1 | 227.0 | 55% |
| Buffalo!!!!Daniel Martisofski · proj 114.9 | −7.0 | JeantyficationJeff Darcy · proj 108.0 | 223.0 | 54% |
| LaPorta Potty LoveSal Cicero · proj 118.0 | −1.5 | Iavana HumpalotDevin Golden · proj 116.4 | 234.5 | 51% |
| Ja'Marr Ja'Marr BinksJoshua Smith · proj 117.1 | −0.5 | X Gon' Gibbs It To YaSteven Cortright · proj 116.7 | 234.0 | 50% |
Two teams are 3-0: Buffalo!!!! (Daniel Martisofski) and Remember The Tateans (Luke Uliana). Two are 0-3, Jeantyfication (Jeff Darcy) and The McBride (Ben Dudash), and both had the win on the bench this week. Week 4 kicks off Thursday, Steelers at Browns.
Transactions
Every claim, pickup and drop since the last edition, as ESPN processed them.
League notices
Must score more than 4.5. Colston Loveland need not reapply; he was fine, actually. Inquire at Brotherly Shove.
— SeanNever started. Sat on a bench at a 2.2 percent start rate while a wide receiver scored 4.2 in his place. Would have won the game by 2.06.
— JeantyficationLast seen at 4 o'clock Sunday, Week 3. If found, please return to Ja'Marr Ja'Marr Binks. Reward: nothing, we have no money, we have never won a payout.
— JoshBrock Purdy, 80.86 points in three weeks, has not started a game. Taking out the Trash Panda reports he is very comfortable where he is.
— The management